An Amazing Ability

Last time I suffered through Philosophy and Society, I discovered I have an incredible gift. I can sleep with my eyes open. Not only that, but I can even take sleep-notes! I kid you not. I woke up from a strange trance and realized I had no recollection of the previous ten or fifteen minutes. Then, to my amazement, I looked down at my notebook and saw half a page of notes. They were legible and everything! I tell you, this has opened doors for me I thought I'd never see opened. Actually, not really. OK, not at all. I have this amazing ability, but it's almost completely useless! If only I'd discovered I could absorb information simply by being present. Now that would be an ability that's actually useful in college. But why stop there? I could listen to people without actually listening to them. I could totally zone out in meetings. But no, I have to get the crappy skill of being able to appear awake while I am, in point of fact, asleep. I want to develop an awesome skill. Guess I'll have to start small. Maybe knife juggling or midget tossing...