Duh Vinci Code

I literally JUST finished Dan Brown's bestseller, "The Da Vinci Code," and I have to say, I've never been more torn. It was obviously an engaging read, because I went through the entire book, cover to cover, in four days. On the other hand, it's really hard to recommend it to anyone. One of my favorite lines from "I, Robot" is when Will Smith yells at that psychologist chick, "You have got to be the dumbest smart person I've ever met!" That's exactly what I would say to Robert Langdon, the protagonist of "The Da Vinci Code." Never before have I read a book about so many smart people who make so many ridiculous decisions. Brown isn't exactly a master of subtlety. In fact, I doubt the man knows the meaning of the word. He broadcasts every minute plot twist about 40 pages before "the big reveal," then makes his mentally handicapped characters revel in the new knowledge, even though "obvious" is far to weak a word for how easily predictable all these twists are. Then again, the lure of a plot filled with intrigue surrounding an ancient secret society actually does well to mask the glaring deficiencies in Brown's prose. He undoubtedly researched this novel like nobody's business. It's just that the research gets cobbled together into a hundred different conspiracy theories and vague references like, "he was known to have ties to many secret circles," and "it was teeming with pagan symbolism." Apparently, a circle is a glaring reference to pagan gods and the "sacred feminine" and absolutely nothing else. So, if you don't mind being treated like an idiot for about 550 pages, then you should read "The Da Vinci Code." If you do, then you're like me, and you'll find your intelligence being insulted at a rate of about once per chapter. You get used to it, but it might not be worth it. Personally, I couldn't help feeling that I'd read it before. Then, about twenty pages into it, I realized I had. Frankly, I liked it better the first time, when it was called "Angels & Demons." I would highly recommend reading that novel instead and just skipping "The Da Vinci Code" altogether.