Two-handed peeing

I walked into the men's room at FlatIron Crossing the other day, and I saw a gentleman standing at a urinal with one of his arms outstretched on the bathroom wall. He looked like he was preparing for a strip-search. At first, I thought he was just yawning or something, but for a good thirty seconds (during which I was unabashedly staring at him), he maintained his Rodney-King-inspired pose. Did I miss a meeting or something? Did a bunch of guys get together and officially decide that's how we're supposed to pee in full view of other dudes from now on? How was he aiming and holding open his fly at the same time? Maybe it's just me, but when you're letting loose with a steady stream of human waste, that's generally a time when I'd suggest using two hands. Driving? Performing brain surgery? Playing basketball? Basket weaving? Clapping? Those can all easily be done with one hand, I assume. But when you're in a public place and there's even the smallest possibility that you might have to walk back out into the mall with your head hung low and your pants stained with your own bright yellow urine (which reminds me: you really need to drink more water), it's not the best idea to treat urination with the same flippancy you'd have toward less important things, like carrying nitroglycerin, choking a burglar, or hugging an orphan. This is pee we're talking about. Have a little respect, buddy.