Curves

I recently saw an ad on tv for this new gym called Curves. In case any of you don't know what this place is, I'll give you the rundown. The commercial actually explains it all. There's this woman who is seen stretching before some sort of race, presumably a marathon. Now, she's not the skinniest woman in the world. OK, she's fat. Then the gun goes off and all the other SKINNIER women take off while the fat woman covers her ears at the (apparently) unpredictable sound of a gun firing. Then, the voice-over starts, "Maybe your workout isn't working because you're doing the wrong one." Then, it cuts to shots of fat women doing awkward-looking exercises such as "walking" and "looking at exercise equipment from afar." Then, the skiny-sounding voice-over lady tells all the fat homemakers who are already hooked by that oscar-worthy editing work that they, too can have the body they want by only working out thirty minutes a day, three days a week. So basically, the whole premise of their ad campaign breaks down like this: Being fat makes you very sensitive to the sound of gunshots, so instead of actually "doing something about it," you should just come here and feel skinnier by comparison for 90 minutes a week, then go right back to eating sticks of butter and hams the size of small children. That, in essence, is their message. "You're not doing the right exercise, because you're just too dang fat. The solution is obvious: work out less." They should be more upfront about it, though. Their motto should be "Curves: Come Fat. Stay Fat. Leave under the false impression that you've actually done something you couldn't have done in line at Dairy Queen."