-ist

Tomorrow, we have our first staff meeting of the year at The Scribe, and I start working on a column for every week this year. I guess now, I can actually tell people I'm a columnist. Exciting as that may be, I never really had a lot of respect for any profession that ends in -ist. Think about it. You've got artist, violinist, archivist, typist, humorist, alchemist, behaviorist, machinist, taxidermist, cartoonist, nutritionist, stylist, dentist... None of 'em are actual jobs. They're all just vague terms used to describe people who happen to get paid for their hobbies. Show me a man whose occupation ends in -ist and I'll show you a man who lived with his parents until they kicked him out of their house on his thirtieth birthday, complaining that "he just doesn't interest us anymore." If it weren't so true, it might be funny.