Your Parents Don't Love You
My sister loves the show "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV or MTV2 or VH1 or some other mindless channel. For those of you who have lives outside your televisions, I'll explain this gloriously inept turd of a show. Basically, it's a "reality" show about spoiled 16-year-old whores whose parents hate them so much they'd rather throw a lavish party than spend any amount of time with them.
They do stuff like send their daughter to Paris to pick out an original dress, or buy the girl a brand new Mercedes, or rent out an entire hotel and hire a nationally known band to play there, or allow the daughter to perform her very own whore-tastic dance in front of all her friends, Britney Spears style. If I had parents who hated me that much, I'd have become a heroine-addicted purse snatcher years ago.
These girls say things like, "I want everyone's attention to be on me all week," and "I think I deserve a brand new Mercedes. I've earned it." Have you now? What benevolent act could you possibly have performed in your entire prepackaged, sterile, privileged life that would warrant anything but but a hypodermic needle filled with air shoved straight into your shriveled heart?
Forget the terrorists. Let's nuke every 16-year-old girl who gets a brand new car for her birthday. Or better yet, napalm. Yeah, I like the sound of that. That way, you could still hear their cries of protest that "the heat is absolutely ruining my hair." Next time I see a girl who looks about 16 getting out of a car that looks like she'd have to turn tricks for 10 years to afford it, I'm gonna punch her in the boob.
They do stuff like send their daughter to Paris to pick out an original dress, or buy the girl a brand new Mercedes, or rent out an entire hotel and hire a nationally known band to play there, or allow the daughter to perform her very own whore-tastic dance in front of all her friends, Britney Spears style. If I had parents who hated me that much, I'd have become a heroine-addicted purse snatcher years ago.
These girls say things like, "I want everyone's attention to be on me all week," and "I think I deserve a brand new Mercedes. I've earned it." Have you now? What benevolent act could you possibly have performed in your entire prepackaged, sterile, privileged life that would warrant anything but but a hypodermic needle filled with air shoved straight into your shriveled heart?
Forget the terrorists. Let's nuke every 16-year-old girl who gets a brand new car for her birthday. Or better yet, napalm. Yeah, I like the sound of that. That way, you could still hear their cries of protest that "the heat is absolutely ruining my hair." Next time I see a girl who looks about 16 getting out of a car that looks like she'd have to turn tricks for 10 years to afford it, I'm gonna punch her in the boob.
posted by Vaughan at
10:33 PM
2 Comments:
What is your sister doing watching tv? Shouldn't she be in the kitchen learning to cook?
Actually, Geoff, that's how she spends her days. She's in a culinary arts program through Pikes Peak. She deserves a little down-time.
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