I'm Thankful...

Since Thanksgiving was slightly less than a week ago as of this post, I declare it still relevant enough to post on. So let it be written, so let it be done. I'm thankful for so many things right now. The world is a big hefty stinking pile of koala krap, and I'm glad none of that crap has yet to land on me.

I'm thankful that I'm not poor. Being poor would suck. I don't know how those people put up with it.

I'm thankful that I'm not homeless. I have a nice warm home to go home to when I go home. It's home. I mean awesome.

I'm thankful my parents aren't stupid enough to live in New Orleans. We live in a town where a flood would be nearly miraculous, rather than an inevitability.

I'm thankful I haven't been raped/murdered. That's just not for me.

I'm thankful for all the conspicuous consumption my socio-economic standing allows for. We don't need two PS2's in a single house. We don't really "need" any at all. We don't need five computers. I don't need a closet full of clothes, most of which still fit, though I haven't worn them in years. I don't need a rifle. I don't need a collection of 70+ books. But I have all those things. Nice.

I'm thankful that I have a $200 pair of glasses when a $30 pair would work just as well.

I'm thankful that I don't have cancer. Yuk.

I'm thankful that I've never been caught littering or speeding.

I'm thankful that I'm not an Iraqi.

I'm thankful that I have enough useless free time to come up with a list like this.

In short, I'm thankful I live in America, where it's not only my right to have all these things, it's my responsibility. How else are all those poor people gonna know that life can be much better than they have it? I'm performing a vital service to society. But even if I weren't, I'd still be doing it.