The Home Stretch

In less than nine hours, I'm officially 21. I think I've been more excited about this particular birthday than any three previous birthdays combined. There's just something about having your first legal drink and being officially allowed to gamble in America. Sure, I became an "adult" on my 18th birthday, but I wasn't exactly thrilled by having to sign up with Selective Service ("I can now be drafted! Score!"). This is the big one. This is what pushes you past being a kid into being a true young adult in a lot of people's eyes. Of course, for the newly-turned 21-year-old, it mainly just means you can drink without worrying about the cops busting up the party. I jotted down a few thoughts, feelings, and concerns that have been percolating for the past week or so:

1. Is it wrong that I wish I could bring in some Bailey's Irish Cream to put into my coffee at church?

2. What do you mean there's no alcohol in rum cake? You mean I could have had some of that damn stuff this whole time?

3. This is one fun TV show, but you know what would make it better? A beer.

4. I once saw a video of a guy chugging an entire bottle of Jack in ten seconds. Note to self: learn how to do that.

5. I'm gonna eat all my ice cream from now on with Kahlua in it.

6. I wonder how long I could get away with filling my Nalgene with gin.

7. I really hope I get a flask for my birthday.

8. When I used to watch Food Network, it made me hungry. Now, it just makes me want to drink.

9. Vodka and cranberry juice go with anything, don't they?

10. Does Jello make pre-made Jello shots? They should get on that...

11. Hmmm... This grapefruit juice is good, but where's the inflated self-confidence and the warm sense of well-being?

12. Of course, with my luck, I find out that underage drinking is legal in the state of Colorado if it takes place on the property of the guardians and said guardians have given verbal permission for the child to drink. I learned this two weeks before my 21st birthday.

13. Cooking chicken or brats and they're a little dry? Dude, just throw some beer on it.

14. Alcoholic oranges? Oh, I'd love one. Thank you. Oh? You say I just made that up? Well I prefer my fantasy to this reality...

15. I sure like this ginger ale, but it would be that much better with a belt of whiskey.

16. Peach Schnapps and tea mix, don't they?

Ironically, I actually wrote and organized this entire post in the sermon notes section of a church bulletin. The guy next to me thought I was having a great time taking notes on our message concerning fiscal responsibility and giving. Not so much.