First Time For Everything

Three days ago, I was pulled over by a police officer for the first time ever. I was also issued a speeding ticket for the first time ever. I was surprised to find that I cared very little about the ticket, the points, or the fine. Instead, I was super pissed that the cop had stolen thirty minutes I could have spent sleeping. I was driving 44 miles per hour in a posted 30 mph zone. Big frickin' deal. I RUN 30 miles per hour. Anyway, I guess my boobs just aren't big enough to get me off the hook with just a warning. Actually, it was a female cop, so maybe that wouldn't have made much sense. She was super nice. We even joked around a bit. I made her laugh. How many of you people can say THAT? Yeah, that's right. None of you. Turns out I'm getting fined a lot less than I thought I would the first time I ever got caught speeding. $75? I kick $75 in the face. Every day. I've decided I need to actually drive the speed limit, at least in Manitou, for a while. But they're not going to keep me down forever. The minute I've "learned my lesson" because of a little speeding ticket, that's when the terrorists have won, and I, for one, am not about to let that happen. It was a bogus traffic stop, anyway. I didn't know cops can tell how fast you're going when they're driving in the opposite direction. If I'd been aware of that, I'd have slammed on my breaks much earlier. That's unfair. I blame President Bush.