The VMAs
I wrote this a while ago, so wherever it says "last night" (such as at the beginning of the piece), just insert "several days ago" instead:
Last night, I watched [what I assumed was, based on the fashion] the 1987 Video Music Awards on MTV. I was struck by a number of interesting phenomena during the show, and I'd like to share a sample of my thoughts on those phenomena now.
Rapper Lil Wayne made not one but two appearances in the course of the show, each time performing his embarrassingly dated shtick with the subtlety and creativity of a head trauma victim playing checkers on acid. As he performed each of his songs while grabbing frantically at his crotch, one word came repeatedly to my mind: Minstrelsy. I expected him to start tap dancing at any moment and begin asking every white person in the room if he could shine their shoes. If I were black, I'd be ashamed of the blatant pandering and racist stereotyping that characterizes Lil Wayne's act. He does for black people what Larry the Cable Guy does for white people. And comedy. And humanity. But seriously, I haven't seen that much crotch grabbing since I got invited to a slumber party at Michael Jackson's house. We played a whole lot of Twister...
I also noticed several of those "All violence against women is wrong" ads. You know the ones, where the voice over guy says "You taught him how to hit a baseball, you taught him how to hit a golf ball, etc... But why didn't you take the time to teach him what NOT to hit?" I laugh out loud every time. Surely, they couldn't actually mean ALL violence against women, could they? I mean, what if the woman's trying to stab you in the throat? Or what if she burns the roast? How else am I supposed to teach her her place if I'm only allowed to resort to psychological torture without the occasional ball-peen hammer to the base of the skull?
Christina Aguilera also performed, but she showed up in an ill-fitting Catwoman suit that made her look like a constipated dominatrix.
Even Russell Brand, the host of the evening's festivities, seemed to mock the whole ordeal. The VMAs have finally reached the level of self parody that had previously only been known to each of the individual artists who performed last night. The show was nearly as engaging as a Glaxo-Smith-Klein board meeting after a heavy lunch consisting primarily of turkey, boxed wine, and Nyquil chasers.
The whole event is interesting to me. I'm fascinated by an awards show put on by any industry in which Britney Spears is considered a veteran. It's interesting if only as a perfect time capsule, a vivid snapshot of mainstream teenage popular culture AT THE EXACT MOMENT the show aired. In a month, some of the people who showed up and some of the ideas that were expressed last night will already be extremely old news. It must be exhausting for MTV's producers to constantly be on the lookout for the next big thing - not the thing that's popular now, but the thing that will be popular next week and only next week. Most teenagers aren't important enough for most industries to care about their fickle and largely irrelevant tastes, but in the world of televised pop culture entertainment, I guess some of those dumbasses matter after all. At least for this week.
Last night, I watched [what I assumed was, based on the fashion] the 1987 Video Music Awards on MTV. I was struck by a number of interesting phenomena during the show, and I'd like to share a sample of my thoughts on those phenomena now.
Rapper Lil Wayne made not one but two appearances in the course of the show, each time performing his embarrassingly dated shtick with the subtlety and creativity of a head trauma victim playing checkers on acid. As he performed each of his songs while grabbing frantically at his crotch, one word came repeatedly to my mind: Minstrelsy. I expected him to start tap dancing at any moment and begin asking every white person in the room if he could shine their shoes. If I were black, I'd be ashamed of the blatant pandering and racist stereotyping that characterizes Lil Wayne's act. He does for black people what Larry the Cable Guy does for white people. And comedy. And humanity. But seriously, I haven't seen that much crotch grabbing since I got invited to a slumber party at Michael Jackson's house. We played a whole lot of Twister...
I also noticed several of those "All violence against women is wrong" ads. You know the ones, where the voice over guy says "You taught him how to hit a baseball, you taught him how to hit a golf ball, etc... But why didn't you take the time to teach him what NOT to hit?" I laugh out loud every time. Surely, they couldn't actually mean ALL violence against women, could they? I mean, what if the woman's trying to stab you in the throat? Or what if she burns the roast? How else am I supposed to teach her her place if I'm only allowed to resort to psychological torture without the occasional ball-peen hammer to the base of the skull?
Christina Aguilera also performed, but she showed up in an ill-fitting Catwoman suit that made her look like a constipated dominatrix.
Even Russell Brand, the host of the evening's festivities, seemed to mock the whole ordeal. The VMAs have finally reached the level of self parody that had previously only been known to each of the individual artists who performed last night. The show was nearly as engaging as a Glaxo-Smith-Klein board meeting after a heavy lunch consisting primarily of turkey, boxed wine, and Nyquil chasers.
The whole event is interesting to me. I'm fascinated by an awards show put on by any industry in which Britney Spears is considered a veteran. It's interesting if only as a perfect time capsule, a vivid snapshot of mainstream teenage popular culture AT THE EXACT MOMENT the show aired. In a month, some of the people who showed up and some of the ideas that were expressed last night will already be extremely old news. It must be exhausting for MTV's producers to constantly be on the lookout for the next big thing - not the thing that's popular now, but the thing that will be popular next week and only next week. Most teenagers aren't important enough for most industries to care about their fickle and largely irrelevant tastes, but in the world of televised pop culture entertainment, I guess some of those dumbasses matter after all. At least for this week.
posted by Vaughan at
3:07 PM
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