24 People And Things That Are Famous And/Or Popular, Though They Have No Reason To Be
1. Simple Plan: kinda the same crappy song over and over again
2. Home Improvement: a terrible show with bad writing and worse acting
3. NYPD Blue: dumb drama with stupid, over-the-top storylines and it was a retarded concept to begin with
4. Affirmative Action: this makes me wish the Russians had won the Cold War
5. Kwanzaa: it's a made-up holiday, for crying out loud
6. Paris Hilton: not good looking, not talented, kind of annoying
7. Bill Maher: thinks he's an intellectual, is most likely his own biggest fan, probably plays with himself
8. Jazz Music: ok, the best jazz musicians may be "geniuses," but who cares? it's boring
9. Barbara Streisand: should have been put to death a long time ago
10. Nintendo GameCube: they're made out of aborted fetuses. 'nuff said
11. The OC: kind of the crappiest show ever
12. AirSoft: gayer than eight guys makin' out with nine guys
13. Hollister: also made out of aborted fetuses
14. Mountain Biking: What's more fun than riding a bike uphill on rocky terrain while wearing the goofiest looking safety equipment ever invented? Let me think... uh, EVERYTHING!
15. Those gay black t-shirts with "clever" sayings written on them in white: give it up, goths, you're not funny or clever and most of the world won't miss you when you die
16. Accoring To Jim: it's like it's anti-funny. I honestly think Jim Belushi is trying to keep the show from getting laughs. 671,009 people have committed suicide after watching this show
17. Final Fantasy: listen up, nerds, RPG's are like wearing a sign around your neck that says, "I will never know the touch of a woman."
18. Freud: a sex-obsessed crack head
19. William Shakespeare: good poet, but one of the worst storytellers in the history of the written word. this guy is the very definition of "overhyped"
20. Oliver Stone: a pinko commie who wouldn't know good cinema if it beat him out for Best Picture
21. The Detroit Pistons: They were, for a while, the worst "world champions" in the history of the sport. They were the least deserving championship team it has ever been my misfortune to see. Ben Wallace is an ape.
22. John Grisham: The man can't end his novels. He builds up suspense, then cops out at the end, EVERY TIME. Plus, he sells drugs to blind kids.
23. The Rolling Stones: about as entertaining and musically gifted as a mule with rabies
24. Pink Floyd: All in all, you're just another brick in the... wait a minute, Pink Floyd makes elevator music! It's "music" written and performed by potheads, for potheads. If it's possible, Pink Floyd is more boring than jazz and sleep combined.
2. Home Improvement: a terrible show with bad writing and worse acting
3. NYPD Blue: dumb drama with stupid, over-the-top storylines and it was a retarded concept to begin with
4. Affirmative Action: this makes me wish the Russians had won the Cold War
5. Kwanzaa: it's a made-up holiday, for crying out loud
6. Paris Hilton: not good looking, not talented, kind of annoying
7. Bill Maher: thinks he's an intellectual, is most likely his own biggest fan, probably plays with himself
8. Jazz Music: ok, the best jazz musicians may be "geniuses," but who cares? it's boring
9. Barbara Streisand: should have been put to death a long time ago
10. Nintendo GameCube: they're made out of aborted fetuses. 'nuff said
11. The OC: kind of the crappiest show ever
12. AirSoft: gayer than eight guys makin' out with nine guys
13. Hollister: also made out of aborted fetuses
14. Mountain Biking: What's more fun than riding a bike uphill on rocky terrain while wearing the goofiest looking safety equipment ever invented? Let me think... uh, EVERYTHING!
15. Those gay black t-shirts with "clever" sayings written on them in white: give it up, goths, you're not funny or clever and most of the world won't miss you when you die
16. Accoring To Jim: it's like it's anti-funny. I honestly think Jim Belushi is trying to keep the show from getting laughs. 671,009 people have committed suicide after watching this show
17. Final Fantasy: listen up, nerds, RPG's are like wearing a sign around your neck that says, "I will never know the touch of a woman."
18. Freud: a sex-obsessed crack head
19. William Shakespeare: good poet, but one of the worst storytellers in the history of the written word. this guy is the very definition of "overhyped"
20. Oliver Stone: a pinko commie who wouldn't know good cinema if it beat him out for Best Picture
21. The Detroit Pistons: They were, for a while, the worst "world champions" in the history of the sport. They were the least deserving championship team it has ever been my misfortune to see. Ben Wallace is an ape.
22. John Grisham: The man can't end his novels. He builds up suspense, then cops out at the end, EVERY TIME. Plus, he sells drugs to blind kids.
23. The Rolling Stones: about as entertaining and musically gifted as a mule with rabies
24. Pink Floyd: All in all, you're just another brick in the... wait a minute, Pink Floyd makes elevator music! It's "music" written and performed by potheads, for potheads. If it's possible, Pink Floyd is more boring than jazz and sleep combined.
posted by Vaughan at
3:10 PM
8 Comments:
You forgot Michael Moore, Jessica Simpson, American Idol, Outkast, and Beyonce, but I forgive you since you mentioned Bill Maher, Paris Hilton (when is she going to GO AWAY?), Affirmative Action, and Kwanzaa.
I like American Idol (well, the audition parts, anyway). All the other ones are either more controversial than popular, simply not popular enough, or don't lend themselves readily to making fun of them.
sidenote: I LOVE American Idol!
Andrew, I agree with everything on your list, except for Home Improvement. I'm forced to like it, since my dad and bro's names are Tim Taylor.
How many bros? Is that like the George Formans?
On a completely unrelated note, since I don't happen to have your email address, Andrew, I thought you'd enjoy this article...http://www.koaa.com/news/view.asp?ID=3014~TT
Um, Anonymous...if I had multiple brothers, I would have said: Bros' or brothers'. Since my brother posseses the name of "Tim Taylor" it's HIS name, thus it is my "brother's" or "bro's" name. So, nice try, smart ass.
Andrew - Amen on the Final Fantasy thing..some people need to give up that obsession NOW! It's sad and pathetic. However, I strongly disagree with you on the William Shakespeare thing. He's amazing.
I completely agree, Kristi. I am constantly amazed at the gullibility of people who believe Shakespeare was anything but a total hack. I admitted he was an incredible poet, but how many people in the world even know that Shakespeare ever wrote poetry? About nine.
Wow, TT. I can't believe that. The kid needs to start wearin' diapers or something. That's one of the most horrifying and disgusting things I've ever seen (the fact that he peed in a trash can is gross, too).
Shakespeare's poetry is brilliant. I just used one of them the other day in a Christmas card. It is true that his sonnets and such do get looked over far too often.
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