Even More Things That Are Inexplicably Famous Or Popular
As some of you may remember, I posted a list of people and things that were famous and/or popular. Well, I've got some new stuff to add onto the list. This is just an amendment (and it, too, will most likely get updated).
25. Kevin Costner: His career is a complete mystery to me. Why he ever got acting jobs to begin with is beyond me, but why he ever got a DIRECTING job is, I think, beyond ANYONE. We'll figure out how the Egyptians built the pyramids long before we figure out why Kevin Costner was ever famous.
26. Mild Salsa: What's the point? Dude, you might as well put ketchup on your chips. If I see that a Mexican restaurant serves mild salsa, I've been known to kill several patrons on my way out the door.
27. Jamie Oliver: He's not that great a cook. Plus, that lisp is really annoying.
28. Chai Tea: This is the Pink Floyd of beverages (everyone loves it, but I have no idea why).
29. Chris Tucker: Apparently, and I was unaware of this, yelling in a really obnoxious voice will make ANY line funny!
30. Hyundai: Wow. I guess making an incredibly shoddy product and backing it up with an amazing warrantee actually WILL get you somewhere. Seriously, who wants a car that NEEDS that good of a warrantee? Apparently, Dell is following in Hyundai's footsteps in this regard, so...
31. Dell Computers: See above.
32. Refusing to learn English: For those of you who have never lived in the Southwest, yes, it is quite popular for immigrants (read: aliens) to establish whole towns where no one speaks a lick of English. It's my country, and you're going to speak my language, got it?
33. Bush-Bashing: Oh, you're so original to make jokes about the president's intellectual capacity! Wow. No one has EVER thought of that before. You are a true TV legend.
34. Wendy's: "Inexpensive" doesn't mean good. Sure, they have a sizable dollar menu, but does that make their food taste any less like a B.O. sandwich? No, the answer is it does not.
35. Ridley Scott: He's just a bad director. Have you ever seen the original theatrical cut of "Blade Runner?" Slow, poorly acted, slow, bad special effects, and slow. It is, seriously, the most boring Sci-Fi movie I've EVER SEEN. That really means something, considering the fact that I've seen "Solaris."
25. Kevin Costner: His career is a complete mystery to me. Why he ever got acting jobs to begin with is beyond me, but why he ever got a DIRECTING job is, I think, beyond ANYONE. We'll figure out how the Egyptians built the pyramids long before we figure out why Kevin Costner was ever famous.
26. Mild Salsa: What's the point? Dude, you might as well put ketchup on your chips. If I see that a Mexican restaurant serves mild salsa, I've been known to kill several patrons on my way out the door.
27. Jamie Oliver: He's not that great a cook. Plus, that lisp is really annoying.
28. Chai Tea: This is the Pink Floyd of beverages (everyone loves it, but I have no idea why).
29. Chris Tucker: Apparently, and I was unaware of this, yelling in a really obnoxious voice will make ANY line funny!
30. Hyundai: Wow. I guess making an incredibly shoddy product and backing it up with an amazing warrantee actually WILL get you somewhere. Seriously, who wants a car that NEEDS that good of a warrantee? Apparently, Dell is following in Hyundai's footsteps in this regard, so...
31. Dell Computers: See above.
32. Refusing to learn English: For those of you who have never lived in the Southwest, yes, it is quite popular for immigrants (read: aliens) to establish whole towns where no one speaks a lick of English. It's my country, and you're going to speak my language, got it?
33. Bush-Bashing: Oh, you're so original to make jokes about the president's intellectual capacity! Wow. No one has EVER thought of that before. You are a true TV legend.
34. Wendy's: "Inexpensive" doesn't mean good. Sure, they have a sizable dollar menu, but does that make their food taste any less like a B.O. sandwich? No, the answer is it does not.
35. Ridley Scott: He's just a bad director. Have you ever seen the original theatrical cut of "Blade Runner?" Slow, poorly acted, slow, bad special effects, and slow. It is, seriously, the most boring Sci-Fi movie I've EVER SEEN. That really means something, considering the fact that I've seen "Solaris."
posted by Vaughan at
1:54 PM
3 Comments:
As far as #32 goes: I thought Mexico had annexed Pueblo or something?
1. I love Wendy's food, I mean come on have you even tried their Chili, Chips, and Cheese.
2. Ridley Scott directed one of the all time best Sci-Fi movies: Alien, and if he is so bad how come every director of every Sci-Fi Horror movie since then has copied him in some way.
-Jon B.
I haven't tried their chili, chips, and cheese, but I know their burgers suck. That's all I can go on, and it's also the main thing they advertise. 'nuff said.
I'm not knocking "Alien," just Ridley Scott. Even a horrible director can stumble into a great movie every now and then. A perfect example is Joel Schumacher, who directed one of the worst movies ever made, "Batman and Robin," but he seems to have struck a chord with "The Phantom of the Opera." Same with Scott. "Blade Runner" sucked, but "Alien" was a seminal masterpiece. I bet you anything "Kingdom of Heaven" will be horrible, though.
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