Another Sphere Of Rocks. La-Dee-Freakin'-Da!

The Huygens space probe recently sent a mini-probe to Titan, Saturn's largest moon. What scientists discoverd was shocking: satellite photos taken from thousands of miles away make Titan look like pretty much everything else in the universe from thousands of miles away. Actually recorded on the NASA channel (no seriously, they have it): "Ooooh, look: a light area in the middle of that dark patch. Do you have any idea what this means? One of two things. Either the core of Titan is made of liquid metallic hydrogen at a temperature of fifty billion degrees Fahrenheit which is then belched out onto the surface and cools in a crystal formation, or some jackass didn't bother to clean that peanut butter stain on the lens. But don't worry, though. John Q. Public from Anytown, USA is paying for it, not us!" *hearty laugh followed by a wheezy choke from years of smoking* Seriously, people are going crazy over these photos of possible hydrocarbon rivers on the surface of Titan. Why? Well, do you know what hydrocarbons are? Gasoline! That's right. NASA is ecstatic about the possibility of dirt-cheap gas! OK, that's a lie (well, only the cheap gas part. Gasoline is, in fact, a hydrocarbon). The real answer is this: the Urey-Miller process (the experiment that created "life" in a test tube (and when I say "life," I mean "some of the same chemicals that can also be found in organic life forms, but also a lot of chemicals that would kill any of the actual living things that weren't even produced in the first place")) results in a whole bunch of hydrocarbons. So, if you're an Evolutionist (read: "idiot"), this means that there could be life on Titan. So, regardless of your beliefs on the origin of life on this planet, what's the bottom line? What does this have to do with you? I have the answer to that one, as well. Nothing. Actually, no. Take that back. It's more like less than nothing, because your tax dollars paid for the whole thing.