A Trip To The Library

A few days ago, I was in the library. Now, you've got to understand, the public library in Monument, Colorado is mainly just a place to pick up and drop off books that have been placed on hold from other branches around the city. The books they have there, on average, are pretty much the dregs of the system. One book I found there, while I was looking to brush up on my folklore, was called, I kid you not, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Vampires." No, seriously. I had nothing better to do, so I looked through it. Amazing, simply amazing. Not the book. That was ridiculous. What amazed me was the fact that there seems to be a big enough demographic to justify actually printing that book. Now, since I figure no self-respecting "vampire hunter" would consider himself a "complete idiot" in ANY field ('cause people like that are those hilarious conspiracy theorists who think fluoridation of water is mind control and Bruce Lee didn't actually die, but just retired from movies and is now working as a spy for the Chinese government), there must be a whole OTHER group of people willing to call themselves idiots in order to get the dirt on vampires. Scary. I mean, what happened to the good ol' days when you had to go to your local bookstore with a name like "The Witches' Cauldron" and actually BUY a ridiculous book like that from some guy with a tongue ring named "Oystur?" Not... that I would... know anything about that. That system worked well to keep the nerds in our society at bay. They left us alone, and in return we produced a new "Star Trek" series every few years. Everything was fine until the library started carrying books like "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Vampires," and then it just blew up in our faces. Shame on you, Pikes Peak Library District. You've now made it THAT much harder to walk down the street and not trip over a nerd. They're taking over.