I Could Be An NFL Commentator

I was watching the travesty of a game between the Chiefs and the Broncos, when I realized that I could easily be an NFL commentator on tv. It's too simple to even be called formulaic. All you have to do is have a 6-year-old retarded child's understanding of the basic concepts of sports (scoring more points equals winning, accidentally passing to the other team is bad, a good counterpoint to offense is defense, etc.), and a voice. That's pretty much it. The guys calling the game made a lobotomized Emu look downright intellectual by comparison.

All I'd need to do is say things like "Well, if these guys continue to score like that and completely shut out the other team's offense, they've got a good shot at winning this thing," and "If he doesn't stop throwing interceptions, the other team is going to continue stealing the ball," and "If it hadn't been for all those points the other team scored, these guys would've won," and "As I've always said, if you throw to the outside, you risk throwing it out of bounds," and "The key here is to kick it through the uprights," and "The middle of the field is the widest part." I'll be golden.