No, I'm Sorry, I Actually Don't Care About Celebrities

I came home a few hours ago today, and the TV was turned to the E! channel. On it was a program that somehow concerned Jennifer Lopez. As I was walking up the stairs, I heard one of the commentators say something like, "Everyone wanted to know eveything about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez." No we don't. I'm sorry, miss biggest-idiot-ever, but I really, truly don't care about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. That's where you're dead wrong about me. No one cares. I am so sick of this I could strangle someone. Listen to me very carefully: JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE NEWS DOESN'T MEAN I WANT THEM TO BE. The mainstream media don't tell me what I do and do not want to know. I decide that. I don't think it is physically possible for me to care any less about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, especially Affleck. I have more acting ability in pools of my own mucus than Ben Affleck has in his entire family. Anyway, back to business. I hate that these "celebrity experts" aka "people who don't have the ability or charisma to get a real job" think that media exposure equals the public's level of desire for more information on a given celebrity. People who want to hear about celebrities have their own minds, despite what Joan "the only thing more fake than my face is my personality" Rivers would have you believe.