Social Norms/Rules
When most people see social norms and rules, they see just that: guidelines to living a more socialy successful life. I, on the other hand, am not like most people. Let me give you some examples:
1. No outside food or drink. That, to me, is a challenge, not a guideline or rule. That says, "Please, PLEASE try to get your outside food into the theater." And I do. A friend of mine smuggled 6 tacos into a theater. The funny part is, I didn't have any food with me at the time, and I got strip-searched by the theater nazis while they allowed my friend to walk in untouched. That's profiling, and that's wrong. I once smuggled an entire albatross into a theater. Man, that was sweet.
2. Don't hit girls. OK, as soon as girls stop hitting guys, then we'll return the favor. Until then, forget you. It's not cute, ladies. Why do we have such a double standard on this issue?
3. No loitering. Oh yeah? I like to stand perfectly still in front of a "NO Loitering" sign and just laugh and spit. I keep laughing and spitting until I get asked to leave, and that's when I throw a handful of glitter in someone's face. OK, that's a lie.
4. There are no wrong opinions. What!? Are you insane? Of course there are wrong opinions. If I say, "It's my opinion that Abraham Lincoln is still alive," then I have a wrong opinion. Be less tolerant, because some things are just plain stupid.
5. Don't make fun of fat people. Unless they were born weighing 340 pounds, then it's not a condition they were born with, and I'll make fun of them until it makes a difference. When they're completely dead on the inside from all the pain and rejection that goes hand in hand with being a disgusting tub of Twinkie cream, then maybe they'll actually get up off the couch and start exercising. Nothing too strenuous at first. They can start out with walking to the tv and back, then, a few weeks later, move up to dressing themselves and maybe not using one of those electric carts when they go shopping. Baby steps.
1. No outside food or drink. That, to me, is a challenge, not a guideline or rule. That says, "Please, PLEASE try to get your outside food into the theater." And I do. A friend of mine smuggled 6 tacos into a theater. The funny part is, I didn't have any food with me at the time, and I got strip-searched by the theater nazis while they allowed my friend to walk in untouched. That's profiling, and that's wrong. I once smuggled an entire albatross into a theater. Man, that was sweet.
2. Don't hit girls. OK, as soon as girls stop hitting guys, then we'll return the favor. Until then, forget you. It's not cute, ladies. Why do we have such a double standard on this issue?
3. No loitering. Oh yeah? I like to stand perfectly still in front of a "NO Loitering" sign and just laugh and spit. I keep laughing and spitting until I get asked to leave, and that's when I throw a handful of glitter in someone's face. OK, that's a lie.
4. There are no wrong opinions. What!? Are you insane? Of course there are wrong opinions. If I say, "It's my opinion that Abraham Lincoln is still alive," then I have a wrong opinion. Be less tolerant, because some things are just plain stupid.
5. Don't make fun of fat people. Unless they were born weighing 340 pounds, then it's not a condition they were born with, and I'll make fun of them until it makes a difference. When they're completely dead on the inside from all the pain and rejection that goes hand in hand with being a disgusting tub of Twinkie cream, then maybe they'll actually get up off the couch and start exercising. Nothing too strenuous at first. They can start out with walking to the tv and back, then, a few weeks later, move up to dressing themselves and maybe not using one of those electric carts when they go shopping. Baby steps.
posted by Vaughan at
10:41 AM
2 Comments:
Okay, I know much of this was meant to be sardonic, but I must reply to #2. I do not think it is right for any of us to hit eachother. It is just not a good idea. In fact I've maintained that since 97. Now if one of my guy friends thinks it is funny and hits me, we have discussion and it does not happen again. I won;t put up with "fun" violence, mostly because I don't agree with it. Patterns set all in good fun can turn ugly. So, girls and guys next time you consider hitting a friend think about the pattern it sets. Isn't there enough violence in society?
Of course, but you were right, I was only joking.
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