Allan Johnson Is A Commie Lunatic

I just got back from a lecture given by Dr. Allan Johnson, Ph.D. During the preceding ninety minutes, I was given enough reason to hate liberals that I don't think Michael Moore will ever have to eclipse the sun in front of another movie camera again. This man is probably the stupidest person I've ever been within earshot of (except this one guy I heard at King Soopers. I think that guy somehow wanted me to hate him. He made Forrest Gump look like Isaac Newton, but not in any sort of cute or endearing way). Anyway, back to Allan "The Mongoloid" Johnson. He talked all about the oppression of women and minorites by white men. I honestly think I was the only person in the room who actually grasped the irony that Allan Johnson is, in point of fact, a white man. That was just delicious to me. It's amazing that he's somehow caught on to the scheme, though. I thought it was foolproof, but this grandfatherly genius has exposed the vast conspiracy behind sexism and racism! Puh-lease! If this was such a deep-seeded conspiracy, then why are there only like nine people around the world who actually believe it? For God's sake, there are more people who believe man has never been to the moon or that the holocaust never happened than believe that the world is secretly run by men. Try to get a married man to say that with a straight face. I guarantee it won't happen. Men will do whatever women tell them, because we are slaves to our proclivities. Heck, I've got a friend who doesn't fart unless his girlfriend lets him. There's no way you can be a functioning human being and actually believe that men can control women to even a fraction of the degree that they control us. Oh, we like to pretend that we're in charge, but who are we really kidding? Apparently, Allan Johnson.