Emeril Lagasse Is A Certifiable Moron

I hate that guy. Always with the smug look on his face and the stupid "BAM! BAM!" all the time and the fact that my belly button can cook better than him... It all adds up. The worst part is, he's always "letting the audience in on" his moronic "tips." But they're not tips!! They're just the things you do when you cook. He thinks he's imparting immense gifts of culinary mastery to the rest of the world, when in fact, he's just telling people things they should have learned from their moms when they were nine years old. Truly, he is the Noam Chomsky of food. "Now, here's a trick I learned about boiling water: generally, the water has to be pretty hot." "When you're slicing carrots into sticks, make sure you cut vertically down the carrot, or you won't get very good sticks." "Now, you're gonna want to chill it in the icebox... that's a refrigerator." I heard that last one about twenty minutes ago. It's what inspired this post. Worse than the fact that the joke makes Bob Hope seem funny by comparison is that the audience obliged Emeril with a really sincere laugh. So, maybe my problem isn't with Emeril himself, but actually with the mongoloid desperate housewives and brain-dead metrosexuals whose Neilson boxes keep that guy on the air.