Chicken Fries?

Come on, Burger King, are you kidding me? "Chicken fries?" What the hell are those? People don't want to hear words like "chicken" and "fries" together in the same sentence. Just like they don't want to hear "motor oil" and "pie" in the same sentence. Same with "shave" and "tongue," or "liposuction" and "the secret ingredient in our milkshakes." It's no wonder Burger King stores are folding up all over the place. With genius ideas like chicken fries, they'll be a distant memory faster than you can say "new coke." Stupid Burger King. I wish they'd finally just give up and go home, already. I mean, those commercials... They're terrible. I already wrote about the creepy king mask ones, but these new ones with the ridiculous Slipknot knock-off chicken band thing are just plain said. It's like watching a little baby seal playing too close to a huge pack of dinosaurs. You can't bear to watch, but you can't bring yourself to look away or to stop poking the seal with sticks. It's a bad situation, especially since you're the one who brought back the dinosaurs from extinction, and put the seal in their cage. Covered in barbeque sauce... Um, what was I talking about?