The value of youth

Driving home from Colorado Springs' retarded, inbred version of a "downtown," I passed through a school zone. Naturally, being the forward thinker I am, I sped up. Don't want to run the risk of being identified by any kids you happen to run over, and the best way to insure that is to guarantee you'll crush their brains like a a robin egg under an anvil. The driver in front of me, however, was apparently one of those law-abiding types, and he promptly slowed to 20 mph. Passing the speed limit sign, I saw that it said fines would be doubled inside the school zone. I've seen countless school zone signs, but this is the first time I actually realized that I could be fined double for speeding.

Why on earth would they fine someone double for speeding in a school zone? Are children's lives worth twice those of real people? That doesn't make any sense. I know plenty of kids who deserve to be hit by cars. Is it because the children are our future, and endangering the future is more egregious than endangering a homeless man? If that's the case, then we should be required to aim for children we see crossing the street. Do you really want to entrust the future to someone who's too stupid to look both ways? It's natural selection. Sorry, parents. Maybe you should have taught your children that in the case of car versus kid, car inevitably wins. In fact, I'd feel better about the future if the parents of children who were killed by sober drivers were chemically castrated. Do you know how hard it is to clean blood off your windshield? Why allow them to make the same mistake all over again with their next child?