Weak-Willed Women Academy
The first time I saw VH1's Tool Academy, my jaw dropped faster than when President Obama tried to show me his "Baracktagon." It's the single greatest television show since some drunk FOX executive thought it would be a good idea to send a cameraman out to record cops arresting rednecks and tackling crackheads. It's TV Nirvana. It's better than winning the lottery on your birthday while kicking little children in the neck.
Of course, the reason I like it might not be the same as some other people's. The ostensible point of the show is to get a bunch of tools (read: "guys who like Fall Out Boy") to change their ways and become gentlemen. Instead, it's actually about women who are either too insecure or too stupid to break up with their loser boyfriends and find men who won't treat them like Mickey Rourke treats personal hygiene.
A couple of the guys even bragged to the camera about how often they cheated on their girlfriends. Instead of leaving them on the spot, storming out, getting super drunk, and banging a bunch of random dudes like they should have, the girls got a little miffed and then re-upped their efforts to save relationships that any thinking person would have recognized as doomed long ago.
Honestly, I get a kick out of watching these punching bags complain about their douchenozzle boyfriends and then decide to stay with them anyway. I can't think of anyone who deserves to be stuck with these assclowns any more then their current girlfriends. What ever happened to the good ol' days when disgruntled wives and girlfriends pulled a Lorena Bobbit and simply cut off the only part of their significant others that attracted them to the relationship in the first place?
If those relationships are "worth the effort," then what'll actually make them leave? "Well, I thought it was going really well for a while there, but then I found out he prefers Pepsi over Coke, so I dumped his Pepsi-loving ass. Hey! Let's go rent 'Sex and the City,' make ourselves some cosmos, and complain about our cramps!"
If those ladies are representative of most twentysomething women in America, then I think I might have to kill myself.
Of course, the reason I like it might not be the same as some other people's. The ostensible point of the show is to get a bunch of tools (read: "guys who like Fall Out Boy") to change their ways and become gentlemen. Instead, it's actually about women who are either too insecure or too stupid to break up with their loser boyfriends and find men who won't treat them like Mickey Rourke treats personal hygiene.
A couple of the guys even bragged to the camera about how often they cheated on their girlfriends. Instead of leaving them on the spot, storming out, getting super drunk, and banging a bunch of random dudes like they should have, the girls got a little miffed and then re-upped their efforts to save relationships that any thinking person would have recognized as doomed long ago.
Honestly, I get a kick out of watching these punching bags complain about their douchenozzle boyfriends and then decide to stay with them anyway. I can't think of anyone who deserves to be stuck with these assclowns any more then their current girlfriends. What ever happened to the good ol' days when disgruntled wives and girlfriends pulled a Lorena Bobbit and simply cut off the only part of their significant others that attracted them to the relationship in the first place?
If those relationships are "worth the effort," then what'll actually make them leave? "Well, I thought it was going really well for a while there, but then I found out he prefers Pepsi over Coke, so I dumped his Pepsi-loving ass. Hey! Let's go rent 'Sex and the City,' make ourselves some cosmos, and complain about our cramps!"
If those ladies are representative of most twentysomething women in America, then I think I might have to kill myself.
posted by Vaughan at
4:15 PM
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