The Most Useless Invention In The World

The stupidest invention in the history of modern thought is, BY FAR, the car alarm. Think about it. There is not a single person reading this post who has heard a car alarm go off in a parking lot and rushed to see what the trouble was. This is what makes the panic button the second worst invention ever. NO ONE assumes that a car is being stolen when an alarm goes off. I saw a cop today sitting in his cruiser while an alarm went off, and he didn't even bat an eye. He was busy watching me and my family get into our car after lunch at On The Border. WE were a more imminent threat than that stupid alarm. What's the first reaction you'll most likely see when a car alarm goes off? Annoyance! People don't care about your 2001 Ford Taurus, you paranoid spaz. If you want to elicit a similar reaction, turn the alarm off and walk around shops and parks hitting people in the face with a brick, then light them on fire and play the soundtrack to "Annie" at an inordinately loud volume, all while rubbing their genitals with sand paper. I would honestly react in exactly the same way to that stimulus as I would to a car alarm. Grow up. I bet YOU don't even come running when you hear an alarm go off, even if it sounds like yours. Seriously, people are infinitely more receptive to A RINGING CELL PHONE than to a car alarm. Even if a guy KNOWS that ring is not his, he will invariably reach into his pocket and check his own, "just in case."

...And that is why the car alarm is the worst, stupidest, most useless, most annoying, and most retarded invention since daytime TV.