One Of The Less-Thought-About Mysteries Of Life

How many people can't figure out for the life of you how fat people's pants stay on? It's a loophole in the laws of physics, or something. They have a funnel-shaped physique. How can they wear pants? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! Try putting a sock onto a funnel, then tell me how fat people can walk around with pants on. I dare ya. You can't do it. Is there some sort of super secret "fat-people-only" society that doles out velcro or something? Even though fat people suck, I've got to hand it to them for baffling me so. Anyone that can pull off something as amazing as a fat person's pants staying on gets a special place in my book. It's a mystery that has befuddled me for decades, something even more inexplicable than Kevin Costner's career (honestly, how does that guy keep getting work?)