Failed Post Ideas

I get so many crappy ideas for posts on this blog, it's amazing I actually end up getting a good one about once a week. You see, the not-quite-so-crappy-as-to-merit-deletion quality posts are all still up here. The REALLY crappy ones, however, get filed away in my archives (read: a notebook next to my TV). Here are some actual post ideas that were just too crappy for words:

Why cockroaches suck.

The secret lives of dogs.

Diet Coke is for overweight grandmothers and wussy little faggots.

The gift of writing is like the gift of gab, minus all the spontaneity and eye contact.

The other side of the story: Satan got a raw deal.

Oprah sucks, and if you like her, I hate you.

If chess is the game of kings, then sign me up for jester.

If you like the show "Sheer Dallas," then I think it's considered a hate crime for me to make fun of you.

Dr. Phil learned how to suck from Oprah.

There. It feels good to get those out of my system. I promise you'll never have to hear anything from any of those abandoned posts. That stuff is gone forever.