Punks
Everywhere I look, there are guys dressed up like the faux-punk, wannabe-goth, emo jackasses they are, and they've got women all around them. OK, what's the deal with that? Is there something inherently sexy about a guy who mines the late 80's for an "original" style? "Look at me! Aren't I cool? It's obvious that I'm the first person EVER to steal a look from a bygone era and call it my own. I'm a depressed teenager. Instead of taking it out on my parents like normal people, I've decided to take it out on myself. That's right. I'm punishing myself by wearing the most hideous clothes I could possibly find in my older sister's closet." Yeah, that'll teach us well-adjusted people to make fun of your clearly disturbed behavior. Stick it to us.
OK, so you know I hate those emo freaks, but that's not really what this post is about. I'm wondering just how it is that these unoriginal teens who wouldn't know real angst if it manually castrated them can have so many girls following them around. For some reason, I was raised to believe girls didn't like to hear a guy complain more than Oscar the Grouch on a wicked hangover.
Girls who like regular guys with a somewhat dark sense of humor and a very well-adjusted outlook on life, where are you? Show yourselves! Trust me, it's in your best interest to let the world know you're still out there. Otherwise, the only type of guy you're going to run into is one who wears pants that are tighter than yours and writes such amazingly angst-filled lyrics as:
"This girl that I liked, well, she doesn't like me back. I'm so depressed, I think I'll move back into my parents' house and wait for the trust fund to kick in. Life is so hard. Now I can't find my bottle opener. Guess God doesn't want me to drink. I'll have to drown my sorrows in a roll of pre-made cookie dough and a 16-hour M*A*S*H marathon."
80% of the people who read this initially won't be able to tell if these lyrics are made up or real.
They're real.
OK, so you know I hate those emo freaks, but that's not really what this post is about. I'm wondering just how it is that these unoriginal teens who wouldn't know real angst if it manually castrated them can have so many girls following them around. For some reason, I was raised to believe girls didn't like to hear a guy complain more than Oscar the Grouch on a wicked hangover.
Girls who like regular guys with a somewhat dark sense of humor and a very well-adjusted outlook on life, where are you? Show yourselves! Trust me, it's in your best interest to let the world know you're still out there. Otherwise, the only type of guy you're going to run into is one who wears pants that are tighter than yours and writes such amazingly angst-filled lyrics as:
"This girl that I liked, well, she doesn't like me back. I'm so depressed, I think I'll move back into my parents' house and wait for the trust fund to kick in. Life is so hard. Now I can't find my bottle opener. Guess God doesn't want me to drink. I'll have to drown my sorrows in a roll of pre-made cookie dough and a 16-hour M*A*S*H marathon."
80% of the people who read this initially won't be able to tell if these lyrics are made up or real.
They're real.
posted by Vaughan at
11:07 AM
4 Comments:
Those are REAL??? Good gracious. Well, some of this post hurt a wee bit...seeing as I am a punk/emo kid. However, I'm proud to say I'm NOT a scene kid - hallelujah. And the boys who bitch drive me INSANE. I have some friends like that, and I can only take them in small doses. And NEVER would I date them. I would MUCH prefer a regular guy with a somewhat dark sense of humor and a very well-adjusted outlook on life. And that's what I've got :) So yeah. Sorry "we" piss you off I guess? I hope you don't lump me into that group. That would suck.
No, Kristi, I don't lump you into that group at all. I was only complaining about emo GUYS, specifically. I knew I would be treading on thin ice with you after this post, but I didn't include you in any of the stuff I complained about.
And, to both Bingo and Kristi, I was joking. Those lyrics aren't real. I figured they were so over the top, no one would ever actually believe they were real. The line about "80% of the people..." was actually a vague reference to Maddox. They are most definitely FAKE. Sorry for the confusion.
tricky tricky tricky. I was getting ready to go kill whoever wrote those, and Bingo's right - these days, anything's fathomable in the land of music.
Andrew, this is Jack. I know this is an older post, but I was bored and reading through them all, and I couldn't agree with you more. Unless you were a hot chick. Then I might find a way. I'm gonna say I definitely miss your sense of humor around APU. All those keen observations we all see, but only you seemingly know how to put them into the right words. Anyways, keep it up. Write a book someday. Oh, and I get dibs on making a documentary about you when the time is right.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home