"...A Complete Lack Of Human Decency"

During the less-than-24-hour period that John was here in the Springs before taking off again, we met at Village Inn to catch up on the last 29 day's worth of not communicating with each other. (On a side note, if anyone out there wishes to develop a more commanding presence and a newly refined charm, go to field training for a month. John, who was never a man I'd see at a loss for words, had a revitalized return to form after 29 days of repression and rough shower sex.) It was there that we met Katie, the worst hostess to don an apron and the inspiration for the quote that is the title of this post. Over the course of the evening, she walked over to our table about a half dozen times, constantly complaining that she was bored. Well, gee... that's really too bad. Could you please go away now? Apparently, Katie's parents had never bothered to teach her that most people frown on having a strange overweight seating hostess hanging around their table while they're trying to have a private conversation. Now, it's not exactly like we were planning a complicated armored truck heist or anything, but it was still unnerving to have this strange girl always standing about eighteen inches from my face, just listening to everything we were talking about. It wasn't just the overt dropping of the eaves that worried me, but her whole manner in general. She seemed just a little too glib for a person who stands at a booth and walks a maximum of thirty feet at a time for a living. Here's a hint, Katie: back waaay off. That's a start. Now, watch hours upon hours of tv and movies until you develop a viable personality and the ability to curb your unnaturally strong compulsion to listen in on other people's conversations. It's called "living in a society." Get used to it.