Happy Father's Day!

Right now, as I write this, we have less than an hour left of Father's Day in the Mountain time zone. I got so into the spirit of the day that I started wishing everyone I saw a happy Father's Day. Most of the women, and quite a few of the younger males who don't have children, didn't think it was funny. I thought it was great, but then again, I thought mittens were making a comeback. Seriously, I've found that AT THE MOST, I'm only right about 96% of the time. That's a staggering realization. When I made that discovery, I locked myself into a port-o-potty for five hours screaming "I Want to Break Free" by Queen at the top of my lungs. It wasn't pretty. Especially when the construction workers finally got the darn thing to tip over. Man, I had to wash my hair fourteen times after that. By the way, did you know that Centrum pills usually go completely undigested? Yeah. Shocker. Anyway, happy Father's Day to all you people out there who still think it's a legitimate holiday. Right now, I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for Hallmark, in a desperate move fueled by greed and an overabundance of crappy unused Valentine's Day poems, to declare the first ever "Love Day" any time now.