"Please, Before We All Lose Our Jobs..."

Rush Limbaugh is ill today, so some guy from Michigan is taking over for him. He was talking about GM and all the layoffs and downsizings and other PC terms for getting canned. He had a guest caller call in. It was the general manager of GM, or something like that.

The guy gave an interesting little sales pitch to America: Buy our cars, or we're going to go out of business. That's essentially what he said. Not the way to move merchandise, pal. The last thing you want to do is convince the customer that you need this deal more than they do. I'd stay away form any phrases like, "We're looking at a lot more layoffs," or "Our cars are almost as good as Toyota's," or "If you don't buy a Chevy Malibu, I will slaughter this baby seal." It's just not a very commanding position to take.

I think somebody skipped the day in business school where they learned not to beg your customer to buy your crap. That only works on tv, and it's not foolproof then, either. Maybe you should focus a little less on crying like a girl, and a little more on making a car that doesn't suck. How's that for a business plan? Maybe make a car that lasts more than 30,000 miles and has some frickin' cupholders. Or maybe stop trying to convince us that you've got it all together by announcing ten new models over the next six years. That's not an encouraging statistic. It's more like the death throes of a terrible auto manufacturer.

Volkswagen has introduced one new model in the past five years, and they're absolutely raping GM as far as costumer satisfaction and awards won. Toyota is rapidly gaining position to become the largest auto manufacturer in the world. It's going to surpass GM in, like, a year or so. Why? Well, it's not because they introduced a whole new collection of cars. It's because people trust them to make the cars they're already known for. Amazing. What a concept!