How 'Bout Now? Is That... Are You... OK, We're Good.

People need permission to do EVERYTHING. You think you're a rebel? Wrong. You're only going to do something rebellious if it is, in fact, against the establishment. So, you'd still have to wait to find out what the establishment stands for in order to go against it, no? Everyone requires a little nudge in their own chosen direction.

I know this is getting a bit too abstract for those of you taking business classes, so I'll give you a concrete example. At the intersections of most wide streets, there are usually two left turn lanes. Obviously, both lanes get a green light at the same time. I was in one such lane yesterday when the lights turned green as usual, but something else happened. The person in my lane was too preoccupied to go when the light changed. The person in the leftmost left lane immediately shot forward, then, seeing that the car to his right wasn't moving, he instantly slammed on his brakes, grinding to a halt. Four or five seconds later, the moron in my lane finally realized that green means go, and started to inch forward. Only after the guy in front of me moved along did the guy in the other lane start to move as well. He needed confirmation that what he was doing was ok. Obviously, the man didn't want to be the only one turning left, just in case he accidentally read the lights wrong.

I saw a similar thing happen when some guy on I-25 was chugging along at the legal limit of 75 mph, when all of a sudden, he came upon a police cruiser doing about 65. The driver, clearly within his legal right to continue along at the posted speed limit, instantly braked and slowed down to match the police officer's speed. Unbe-freaking-lievable. The guy wasn't doing a thing wrong, but he still felt the need to emulate the actions of a guy who probably only wanted to become a police officer because he'd get to have a gun. The officer has no more authority over a man who is obeying all traffic laws than I do over Saddam Hussein. But still, we all feel that tug, that little pull towards obedience and conformity that has somehow been ingrained in us all since we were crapping in our diapers and spitting up formula.

Now don't misunderestimate me. I'm not saying this need to please so-called "authority figures" is at all a bad thing. Hell, most people are too stupid to do things without the consent of a judge and a council of their peers. I'm just pointing it out. In fact, I wouldn't mind that. A peer council for all the retards and homeless people out there who can't make a decision to save their lives. And cripples, too. Because, come on, how much can you really trust someone who claims to not be able to move their legs? Sounds fishy to me.