Take A Stand Against Things That Are Really Sour

I'm going to be perfectly honest. I don't always read the newspaper I work for. Most of the time I do, but sometimes I get really busy with all my tv watching and book reading and flaming-tennis playing, and I forget to read the Scribe. The last paper of the year 2005 was one such paper. I went online today, and stopped by the Scribe website. I saw an interesting headline. It said something about the Student Government Association taking a stand against racism. I laughed so hard, I almost knocked over my laptop.

Are you kidding me? Taking a stand against racism?! Oh, that's a good idea. And while you're at it, take a stand against people falling down, fruit rotting, milk going bad, restaurant patrons under-tipping, sunburns, the flu, and Michael Jackson.

Please. It's ridiculous. Let's all take a stand against jealousy, hunger, stomach pains, itchiness, and nausea. Not to mention fungus, spiders, and electrocution. You can't "take a stand" against some things. Racism, I'm sorry to say, is one of those things. You might as well take a stand against male pattern baldness. It makes just as much sense. Hey everybody! I'm starting a non-profit organization that takes a stand against the color yellow and the number 15! Donate money please! We accept personal checks and cash, as well as the heads of any Republican party members you can get to us. And Monopoly money. Because we're crazy.