Fortune Cookies Don't Tell Fortunes

OK, this one has been pissing me off for a long time. I recently got reminded of this problem by a friend's blog ( www.doogieandray.com ). Fortune cookies suck. That name is a total misnomer. They don't tell you anything, let alone a fortune. I got one the other day that said, "You are the master of every situation." Thanks for that "fortune," you blunt force trauma victim! When I hear something called a fortune, I want to hear something that is going to happen. That's a fortune, you slant-eyed illegal immigrant. Give me my dang fortune, or else stop calling them fortune cookies. You could just call them "dumbest-ass phrases ever" cookies and save us all the charade.