Jesus And Santa Weren't Related, So Go Back To Your Tea And Scrumpets. Brits Suck
Apparently, according to Daniel Flynn (www.flynnfiles.com), there are several shopping malls in the UK that have announced they will not be allowing any Santa Claus-related events this holiday season. Why, I hear you ask? Because they don't want to offend any non-Christians. For seriously guys. These big-eared, bad-toothed fancy-boys are banning Santa because he's TOO CHRISTIAN! Am I the only one who sees the irony in that? Of course, who could forget when Santa came and gave baby Jesus some play-dough and a snow globe? Then, they all huddled around the fire, drinking wassail and singing carols. Don't forget the yule log! I'm so sick of people confusing the Christian and secular elements of Christmas. No, Jesus was not born on December 25th. No, the wise men were not there when he was born, and there weren't three of them. No, the candy cane is not symbolic of a shepherd's cane, and the stripes do not represent Jesus' floggings. (Incidentally, I'm sure he would be quite proud to know that his moment of ultimate suffering was forever commemorated with a minty "J" and passed out at drunken office Christmas parties.)
In reality, the Catholic church essentially "invented" a new holiday to replace the pagan winter festival that had previously been celebrated at the same time. "Hey, why don't we make it a birthday party for Jesus?" "Yeah, that's a great idea, Bartholemew. God will surely grant us extra time out of purgatory for that idea!" And so, Christmas was born. But we can't have Santa sitting in a mall and telling "good" kids that they will get whatever they want for Christmas. Oh, no sir. That's far too Christian.
Happy Christmahanukwanzica, everybody!
In reality, the Catholic church essentially "invented" a new holiday to replace the pagan winter festival that had previously been celebrated at the same time. "Hey, why don't we make it a birthday party for Jesus?" "Yeah, that's a great idea, Bartholemew. God will surely grant us extra time out of purgatory for that idea!" And so, Christmas was born. But we can't have Santa sitting in a mall and telling "good" kids that they will get whatever they want for Christmas. Oh, no sir. That's far too Christian.
Happy Christmahanukwanzica, everybody!
posted by Vaughan at
1:03 AM
4 Comments:
As usual, another post which paralyzes my ability to limit laughter to a punchline and instead sentences me to a punishingly grand time of a side splitting chuckle throughout the entire observation. I particularly like your insight on this one: hard-hitting to both sides, but pristinely clear and honest.
Such "popular uprisings" are not limited only to the UK; see the folks hard at work on our own turf over at SaveMerryChristmas.org.
Food for future thought, Andrew: how will this and other recently sensationalized secular flavors of Christianity (such as the Roy-Moore-10-Commandments issue or, in a different vein, the Passion of the Christ) force Americans, in the long term, to separate spiritual Christianity from cultural Christianity? Interested to know your take.
Unfortunately, I believe that the church will continually be watered down from here on out. I don't think it's going to get any better or easier for you or I for the rest of our lives. America is called a "Christian nation," which, to me, makes it even harder to stay spiritually "in tune." Today, we are faced with a major challenge. The line between morality and Christianity is being further blurred every day (thanks, in part, to the spiritual complacency of much of the clergy of the Catholic church.) We have to start changing people's minds concerning what constitutes a "good" person.
"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." -Matthew 24:9-13
I think this is one of your best commentary's yet. I'm encouraged to see you struggle with real issues. How will you respond when you are persecuted for my sake?
Jesus, is that you? Boy, I would have thought you'd be man enough to sign your own name...
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