The NBA Sucks

I hate to finally admit it, because I've been a long time fan of professional basketball, but it's true: currently, the NBA sucks. I came to this sad, sad realization on Friday evening when I first heard about this on TV. These guys are animals, plain and simple. They are nine-year-old boys who got taller but never grew up. (I'll try to leave my unadulterated hatred of Ben Wallace out of this, but it's hard.) The fans are just as bad, if not worse. These are GROWN MEN we're talking about! I can't yet fully verbalize my disgust with everyone involved in that overwhelming display of immaturity. Hey guys, guess what... No one cares about your stupid little game! "Oh, he shoved a player for a team that just happens to be the one I like, even though both of them suck like a Dyson. I can't think of a better way to vent my unbounded rage at such an insult, so nyah! take that cup of beer in the face!" Come on, you idiot. Mr Stupid Pacers Fan, I've got a couple things to say to you. I hate you with every bone in my body. You, and people like you, make me want to invent new levels of pain and reserve them only for jackasses like you. First, you're a PACERS FAN! Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds!? You might as well walk around saying you prefer moldy belly button lint to actual food. Seriously, that's like being the "proud owner" of a Daewoo. Keep quiet about that before you embarass yourself. Or, you could start playing with yourself in public and drooling whenever you hear a bell ring. At least that way you'll be able to excuse your retarded behavior by telling people that God peed on your DNA or something. That might get you A LITTLE sympathy in my book. Also, even if this actually were an important game, get a life, dude. The NBA has sucked for about a decade now. It's a miracle to see a team score over 100 points in a game. What's the deal? I'll tell you: the players are all about the money now. They "grew up in da projects playin' hoops in da pawkin' lot. Ain't got no money. Used dem ol' food stamps and ate me some nasty-ass gubmint cheese, nigga!" Get an education, you idiot. You're making the rest of the black people who actually care about tact and grammar look bad. Hey, don't be hatin'. I'm straight up fer real, dog. Just ax Bill Cosby what I'm about. He gots my back.