American Idol
Last night, I watched the season premier of American Idol. It was awesome. Now, I don't watch after all the bad people have been ripped apart by Simon, so it's only like a 2-3 week thing. After that, I go back to watching reruns of Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond. American Idol is the funniest show on tv in its first few weeks. Simon's comments are sometimes funny, but the best parts are when you just sit and listen to some of those horrific singers. Sometimes, it's so bad it'll even make YOU uncomfortable while you're watching. You have to ask yourself, "What kind of friend actually told this retard he could sing?" That's not a friend in my book. If I ever decide to go into a talent-based competition, and any of you realize that I'm laughably bad at it, please, PLEASE tell me so. I wouldn't want to make a complete fool out of myself and anyone who may have lied to me about my talent in that area. This one girl, Mary Roach, had the worst voice I've ever heard. Seriously. It was so weird. Most of the time, no one could even understand what she was singing. I just want to know why these people audition in the first place. I'm sure some are there just so they could say they were "on" American Idol, but not Mary. She was dead serious when she said she'd had complete strangers tell her how great a singer she was. What!? Let me ask you something, Mary: Were these strangers wavy and colorful with horses in their hair and tv coming out of their mouths? If so, then they weren't strangers, they were coat racks, and you were STONED OUT OF YOUR MIND. Your next "audition" should be for rehab or a mental institution, both of which will, I'm sure, readily move you on to the next round.
posted by Vaughan at
10:51 AM
3 Comments:
Well said, Andrew. However, you forgot the most important thing of all: THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAY LARGE SUMS OF MONEY (over $200 at least) TO GET INTO THE AUDITION IN THE FIRST PLACE! This must at least double the moronic feeling they take away with them at the end of the audition when they walk out sans yellow sheet of paper. I can just imagine it:
"Dude, I just paid $200 to be ridiculed publicly and to find out I suck at singing."
"Dude, if you had asked me in the first place, I would have told you you suck for free."
"Dude, I DID ask you, and you said I should try it."
"But dude, you didn't say you were using the money I loaned you out of my college fund to prove yourself more of a moron than we already thought you were!"
Simon Cowell is also great. A worthy role model, Andrew?
I do have to mention that she voluntarily gave up the information that she hears voices in her head...I agree that she was terrible though, sort of a mix between Sarah mcglaughlin and Jar Jar Binks being fed through a tree chipper
Wow. I was completely unaware that they had to pay to audition. People's idiocy never fails. Just when I think I've seen everything, the stupidity level gets kicked up a notch, and I get amazed once again.
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