Burger King Sucks. Just Get Over It And Die A Quiet, Noble Death.

Burger King is worse than Wendy's and peanutty camel diarrhea combined. They've actually sucked for quite a while, but what put them over the top were those horrible commercials that feature a somewhat disturbing looking "king." I'm honestly freaked out by that thing. Who wants to buy a crappy burger from a low-rent Disney version of a Michael Myers wannabe? It's just plain freaky. "Wake up with the king?" What kind of semi-homoerotic message are they trying to send? Every time Burger King tries to trick people into thinking they're actually better than getting burned alive in the middle of a gran mals seizure, God kills a kitten. It's true. I'd rather be eaten alive by javelinas than watch another Burger King commercial.