The Director's Cut

Generally, when a studio releases "The Director's Cut" of a beloved movie, it features scenes that the director desperately wanted in the movie, but was forced to remove due to pacing or time constraints. I have never EVER seen a director's cut of a movie turn out SHORTER than the theatrical version. That is, until now. A week or two ago, the director's cut of Alexander was unleashed on an unsuspecting public. It revealed in a few short words what I've known for at least forty years: Oliver Stone is a self-indulgent, money-grubbing son of a bitch. "Newly inspired! Faster paced! More action-packed!" This is what it says on the director's cut of Alexander. I kid you not. Now, Americans may be stupid, but I would have found it difficult to believe that such a level of stupidity could actually exist outside the churches of Mormonism and Scientology until I saw the DVD case for Alexander. Oliver Stone is apparently trying to say, "Look what the studio made me put in! I didn't want it, but they forced me to make a nearly-three-hour film by threatening to have me outed." Yeah, right. This "newly inspired" crap is ridiculous. "Wow, suddenly, I'm inspired to cut some of the man-love and mind-numbingly boring dialogue scenes from my crappy movie, because I have a new, more American-friendly version in mind." If I ever see Oliver Stone on the street, I'll kick him in the face and kill his entire jackass family as punishment for not aborting him.