You're Not Impressing Anyone
Being in college, I hear people telling others about all the great things they did in high school, like, ALL THE TIME. Especially freshmen who don't know any better. It's not entirely limited to freshmen, though. There will always be those juniors and seniors who still haven't done anything worth mentioning in their post-high-school lives, and therefore have to lean on their "badass reps" from high school. Guess what, nobody cares.
Oh, so you were the editor of your high school paper that was only read by the principal and your own parents? Guess what, nobody cares. So you were student body president? Guess what, nobody cares. You had the bestest, most killer senior prank EVER? Guess what, nobody cares. Your mom loves you? Nobody cares. You have siblings? Or you don't? Nobody cares. You could have gone to Yale, but you decided to grace those of us at UCCS with your genius presence? Nobody cares. You just BS'ed your way through your college entrance essay? So did everyone else on campus, idiot. You're not special.
We don't care what crappy accomplishments you managed to cobble together in your four years at Mt Hicksville High. You're in college now, where you have to do something other than invent a crazy new fashion trend for yourself and all your loser high school friends to get noticed. You have to actually do something that's worth noting for people to care about what you've done. We're not impressed with your AP-class-assisted 5.0 GPA. We don't care that you hosted your school's talent show. Stop living in the past. High school takes up less than 5% of your life, jackass. Get over yourself. And shut up.
I have a pair of pants in my closet that have more interesting things to say than you, telling me you were a member of the National Honor Society. There are millions of people across the country who were part of NHS, and most of them are janitors now. How about stop telling all your new college friends about how great you were in high school and actually going to class in college? Or maybe you should just accept your fate, shut your mouth, and unclog my toilet, bitch.
Oh, so you were the editor of your high school paper that was only read by the principal and your own parents? Guess what, nobody cares. So you were student body president? Guess what, nobody cares. You had the bestest, most killer senior prank EVER? Guess what, nobody cares. Your mom loves you? Nobody cares. You have siblings? Or you don't? Nobody cares. You could have gone to Yale, but you decided to grace those of us at UCCS with your genius presence? Nobody cares. You just BS'ed your way through your college entrance essay? So did everyone else on campus, idiot. You're not special.
We don't care what crappy accomplishments you managed to cobble together in your four years at Mt Hicksville High. You're in college now, where you have to do something other than invent a crazy new fashion trend for yourself and all your loser high school friends to get noticed. You have to actually do something that's worth noting for people to care about what you've done. We're not impressed with your AP-class-assisted 5.0 GPA. We don't care that you hosted your school's talent show. Stop living in the past. High school takes up less than 5% of your life, jackass. Get over yourself. And shut up.
I have a pair of pants in my closet that have more interesting things to say than you, telling me you were a member of the National Honor Society. There are millions of people across the country who were part of NHS, and most of them are janitors now. How about stop telling all your new college friends about how great you were in high school and actually going to class in college? Or maybe you should just accept your fate, shut your mouth, and unclog my toilet, bitch.
posted by Vaughan at
8:18 PM
4 Comments:
Yes, this is now the "real world" because of course high school and everything preceeding it was the "fake world." Just for that I want to cut your face off with a butter knife.
It was the fake world, Geoff. Cut away.
Justify that. It's no more fake than anywhere else. You go to college and you're expected to be fake. You go out into the work force and you are expected to be fake. If high school is the fake world then there is no real world.
Justify that.
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