Happy Fourthajuly!
Well, Independence Day is just around the corner, and once again, I'm quite ill prepared for it. Once again, the state of Colorado has deemed it "unsafe" to set off fireworks that explode or even leave the ground. Once again, my request to road trip up to Wyoming in order to buy huge quantities of fireworks has been shot down prematurely. In other words, once again, it's going to be a crappy Fourth of July. However, I can't pass up an opportunity to talk about this land that I love so very, very much. So, I thought I'd put together a list of reasons why I love America.
1. It's big, but not too big. Russia's waaay too big. Canada's got one person for every thirty billion square miles (give or take). England, on the other hand, is puny. I've picked bigger things than England out of my teeth.
2. It's incredibly diverse. We've got deserts, ski resorts, beautiful beaches, expansive corn fields, active volcanoes, glaciers, stunning mountain ranges, huge cities, and more than a few people groups. Wow.
3. We've got a ton of weapons. Seriously. We could kill the entire population of China fifty times over with our arsenal of chemical weapons alone! Yeah. Sweet.
4. It's free. I have the legal right to say that I hate Bill Clinton like poison. How cool is that? In some countries, that would be a no-no.
5. We've got awesome colors. Germany's colors suck ass. That's right, you sick krauts. I said it.
6. We've got not one Statue of Liberty, but two. Vegas, baby! 'Nuff said.
7. We invented the artificial heart, the telephone, the telegraph, the sewing machine, the incandescent light bulb, the computer, standing up, and sex. That's pretty freakin' impressive.
8. One word: Elvis.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love cookies... er, America.
1. It's big, but not too big. Russia's waaay too big. Canada's got one person for every thirty billion square miles (give or take). England, on the other hand, is puny. I've picked bigger things than England out of my teeth.
2. It's incredibly diverse. We've got deserts, ski resorts, beautiful beaches, expansive corn fields, active volcanoes, glaciers, stunning mountain ranges, huge cities, and more than a few people groups. Wow.
3. We've got a ton of weapons. Seriously. We could kill the entire population of China fifty times over with our arsenal of chemical weapons alone! Yeah. Sweet.
4. It's free. I have the legal right to say that I hate Bill Clinton like poison. How cool is that? In some countries, that would be a no-no.
5. We've got awesome colors. Germany's colors suck ass. That's right, you sick krauts. I said it.
6. We've got not one Statue of Liberty, but two. Vegas, baby! 'Nuff said.
7. We invented the artificial heart, the telephone, the telegraph, the sewing machine, the incandescent light bulb, the computer, standing up, and sex. That's pretty freakin' impressive.
8. One word: Elvis.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love cookies... er, America.
posted by Vaughan at
9:50 PM
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