I Never Would Have Thought

I was at Chipotle a few days ago, and I happened to notice that there was a woman with more facial hair than I could hope to grow in a lifetime. It was a monster of a mustache. She could have been a stand-in for Tom Selleck in... well... ANY Tom Selleck movie. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. This woman's mustache was so transfixing, I didn't even notice the fact that there was a woman standing right next to her that had only one leg. That should tell you something, ladies. Lose a leg, and we'll still love you. Forget to wax that upper lip, however, and you're paying for your own dinner.