Sometimes, Technology Is A Bad Thing

Boy, am I glad that I can finally hear the sound a person's mouth makes when they're slightly dehydrated every time I watch Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy. With the newest wave of technological advancements, there also came an increased ability to hear that disgusting, lip-smacking saliva sound every time a character on those two TV shows speaks. I don't want to hear that. I'd rather hear static than the inside of Eva Longoria's mouth. It's like somebody's standing next to me and chewing on the same bite of banana for about ten minutes. It makes me envy deaf people. Please, ABC, could you consider getting some out-of-date microphones or something? I can't take it any more. I'm about to start punching babies.