A Day At Waterworld
Wow. It's been five days since I last posted. What could have possibly taken my attention away from this little project for five whole days? Had I been kidnapped? Had I finally gotten a job? Had I been trapped under a car in my garage? Had I actually gotten a life outside this blog? No such luck. I just ran out of stuff to write about. It's ok, though. Life never stops. It was just a matter of time before I kicked another guy in the crotch or saw a waitress cuss out a restaurant patron or burned down another immigrant family's home.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to go to what the Travel Channel called the 7th best water park in the country, Waterworld. A bunch of friends and I went there to celebrate my friend Phil's 21st birthday. Man, we had a lot of fun. Well, mostly. I kinda sorta accidentally gave a guy a concussion. Hey, it wasn't my fault. We were riding together on a big slide thing that dumps you off into a long pool. You go skipping across the water really fast. Well, at least you're SUPPOSED to skip across the water. We caught the front of our sled on the surface of the water, and stopped instantly. Apparently (I don't remember the details because I was busy trying not to die), we smashed our heads together. I was in front, and James had been in back. He discovered he was bleeding. Anyway, long story short, he had a mild concussion and needed six or seven stitches for a cut above his eyebrow. I felt terrible. I know it wasn't because I'd thrown anything at him or punched him in the face, but the concussion came as a direct result of the fact that I have a head. Put another way, if I hadn't been there, it might not have happened that way.
We saw a guy who works at Waterworld, who would obviously rather jump naked into a huge pile of porcupines than continue working there. Even better, he made every effort to make sure all the people around him were aware of that fact. The guy was walking back and forth in the vast uncharted expanse of about thirty square feet with a broom and a dust bin, sweeping nothing into the bin, and barely trying to hide it. Mostly, he was busy watching people wipe out on The Wave, one of those faux-boogie-boarding rides. For a while, he actually stood by a tree in the middle of a lawn-like area and pretended to be SWEEPING THE GRASS! All while looking like he'd just downed an entire bottle of valium. Seriously, that guy made Ben Stein look like a cross between Robin Williams and a really hyper dog. After a few minutes, I think he figured out that we were onto his little game, and he moved along, probably looking for more lawns to sweep.
All in all, it was a fun day. We had a few laughs, tripped a few old people, stole a few bottles of sunscreen. Good times. Water parks are always fun. Especially when you get to watch a big ol' fat guy wipe out on the same ride forty times.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to go to what the Travel Channel called the 7th best water park in the country, Waterworld. A bunch of friends and I went there to celebrate my friend Phil's 21st birthday. Man, we had a lot of fun. Well, mostly. I kinda sorta accidentally gave a guy a concussion. Hey, it wasn't my fault. We were riding together on a big slide thing that dumps you off into a long pool. You go skipping across the water really fast. Well, at least you're SUPPOSED to skip across the water. We caught the front of our sled on the surface of the water, and stopped instantly. Apparently (I don't remember the details because I was busy trying not to die), we smashed our heads together. I was in front, and James had been in back. He discovered he was bleeding. Anyway, long story short, he had a mild concussion and needed six or seven stitches for a cut above his eyebrow. I felt terrible. I know it wasn't because I'd thrown anything at him or punched him in the face, but the concussion came as a direct result of the fact that I have a head. Put another way, if I hadn't been there, it might not have happened that way.
We saw a guy who works at Waterworld, who would obviously rather jump naked into a huge pile of porcupines than continue working there. Even better, he made every effort to make sure all the people around him were aware of that fact. The guy was walking back and forth in the vast uncharted expanse of about thirty square feet with a broom and a dust bin, sweeping nothing into the bin, and barely trying to hide it. Mostly, he was busy watching people wipe out on The Wave, one of those faux-boogie-boarding rides. For a while, he actually stood by a tree in the middle of a lawn-like area and pretended to be SWEEPING THE GRASS! All while looking like he'd just downed an entire bottle of valium. Seriously, that guy made Ben Stein look like a cross between Robin Williams and a really hyper dog. After a few minutes, I think he figured out that we were onto his little game, and he moved along, probably looking for more lawns to sweep.
All in all, it was a fun day. We had a few laughs, tripped a few old people, stole a few bottles of sunscreen. Good times. Water parks are always fun. Especially when you get to watch a big ol' fat guy wipe out on the same ride forty times.
posted by Vaughan at
2:03 PM
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