Happy Hurricane Season!

Once again, it's that time of year. The time when everyone who lives in a hurricane-susceptible part of the country gears up for another six months of blaming the government for their own stupidity. Yesterday marked the official beginning of Hurricane Season 2006. Party on! And as if my job didn't provide enough material, the city of New Orleans has happily provided me with another fact to poke fun at: they re-elected mayor Ray "Blame It On The Man" Nagin. I will only say this once, New Orleans: You deserve another disaster twice as bad as Katrina for allowing Ray Nagin to live after last October. You deserve the Righteous and Cleansing Hand of God after re-electing him your mayor for another term. Some of you may not believe I'm saying this without hyperbole, but I will feel warm and fuzzy the next time I hear about another hurricane hitting New Orleans. For every stupid person who should have left after Katrina who is "tragically" killed in another storm this year, I will punch a fetus out of pure schadenfraude. If you can't learn from your mistakes, then you automatically forfeit your right to be mourned after your avoidable death. Every day New Orleans is on a hurricane alert or tropical storm watch or whatever they call it down there, I'm going to listen to "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin before I go to bed. If I ever meet someone who survived the devastation from Katrina and still moved back to New Orleans, I'll stab them in the forehead with a ball point pen.