Arby's Makes My Whole Body Hurt

I like roast beef sandwiches. I like curly fries. I like soda. I even like barbecue sauce on my roast beef sandwich as I eat it with my curly fries and a soda. I don't like Arby's, though. It's like they somehow found out how to take the perfect set of ingredients that should combine to form a killer fast food place and then screwed it all up just for spite. I went to Arby's for lunch today, and I decided that I'd rather swallow a curling iron than ever go back. I tried to put my straw in my soda, and the cheapo plastic cap frickin' ripped in bloody half. That's because the straw-to-hole ratio was just too large. It needs to be at least 1:3. That means the hole in the lid needs to be at least three times the size of the straw you're putting through it. If the straw is any bigger than a third of the lid hole, you're gonna have a major problem. This straw they hooked me up with was way too big for the teensy hole in the crappy generic plastic lid. I had to pull the whole thing off the top of my delicious Pepsi-cola and try it the hell over again. By that time, my beautiful curly fries had already begun to get soggy, which of course ruined the whole meal. Stupid Arby's. Now I'm in a bad mood.